The Journey Inwards – A brief recapitulation of the past 10 years!

Often times while going through a spiritual awakening we may feel victimized; victimized by our ravaging emotions and our tumultuous mind; victimized by how others perceive of us; victimized by the thought “What the hell is happening with me?”

10 years after been awakened to my soul’s essence, I am at a point in my life, where I am recalling the past 10 years and all that has transpired during this time. While at one place in my belly sits a small child feeling victimized by what happened in my inner world and all the suffering it went through, a higher part of me tells me to be grateful for the experience for it has endowed me with many many spiritual gifts, I can serve the world with. “Be grateful for the long cries, be grateful to all the spiritual masters who came into your life to serve you, be grateful to all the souls who did not approve of you and more so, be grateful to your own soul for endowing your physical body with the Light it today carries!”

Taking this moment today, I would like to give my sincerest gratitude to the Divine, to my own soul, to all my Spiritual Fathers and Mothers who helped me through this journey and who continue to help me without me even being aware of it.

I would like to start with my own parents, who gave me birth and who went out of their way to find a cure to my spiritual, mental and emotional illness. Thanks to the beloved Grand Master Choa Kok Sui who brought the art of Pranic Healing to the world. Pranic Healing was the first healing modality I came across. The meditations on Twin Hearts, Meditation on the Blue Pearl and more were my first friends who took me deep into my inner world and provided me with the much needed healing and helped in the expansion of my Consciousness.

Just like different teachers serve us in school at different times of our school life, new teachers come to teach us on our spiritual journey as well. After having embraced the teachings of Master Choa Kok Sui, I was led into the Oneness Mission led by Amma Bhagwaan. It was here that I felt the first and only experience of Kundalini awakening and the opening of my third eye.

As I continued to move on, I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism, a unique mission empowering people with the Light of Courage, Wisdom and Compassion. Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo served as a Lion’s Roar for me in times of despair and anxiety. As I continued to chant, I discovered the teachings being spread by another Spiritual Master Teacher known as Dr and Master Zhi Gang Sha. The soothing light of the soul songs, and the various teachings that empower you to bring healing to your own self in every aspect of your life, are something worth studying and investing your time in, in order to understand the deeper wisdom behind them.

Sometimes it does become a challenge to embrace a teaching due to the doubts we have in our minds and the fears whether a path is a true path or not. Moreover, what we find ourselves in alignment with, other people in our environment may not. But all over the years one thing that I have learnt is, if your heart finds its alignment somewhere, surrender and embrace the teachings. As the saying goes, ” If you want to know whether a pear is sweet, taste it”. Taste it and discover for yourself what works for you and what doesn’t and you shall eventually find the true calling of your heart. As you pass through these spiritual stages, your soul continues to receive more Light and more Wisdom. Whether at any stage you believed in a certain teaching or not, or you liked a certain teacher or not, or maybe things were simply good for you but the teacher you were associated with started to become part of some accusations, please know that every teacher served you in some way and the only way to carry the Light in your heart is to be grateful to all those who taught you along the way.

I would like to conclude this little glimpse into my soul journey till now, by the words of Rumi who calls upon each one of us to listen to the callings of our hearts and souls.

Come back my soul, how much longer will you linger in the garden of deceit?

I have sent you a hundred messages, I have shown you a hundred ways

Either you never read them or you ignore my advice.

Come back my soul, do not waste time with the cold-hearted

They do not know your worth.

Why do you seek water when you are the stream?

Have you forgotten? You are the King’s falcon, you are a ray of the Beloved, a divine wonder!

With much love and light,

Shaivya

Being a spiritual being in a world ridden with doubt, judgements and fear

If you are reading this post, then you probably have some interest in spirituality or maybe you feel confined by the ways of the world and want to be set free; free to explore your own uniqueness, which in my case  is my spirituality and creativity. Whatever it is for you, I hope the post inspires and sparks a light in you in some way. 

So, let me start by taking you on my personal inner journey today ,a journey I have been trying to come to terms with; a journey I am trying to embrace, amidst the fear of judgements and abandonment. 

My quest with my spiritual inner self began in 2012, while on a train in Germany. You may wonder, what happened? To be honest, dear readers, I myself was taken by a surprise. 

Since my childhood, I had an inner voice that always communicated with Lord Ganesha, a God in Hinduism, whenever I found myself troubled or in a dilemma. I was always called upon to recite the Ganesh Aarti whenever Pooja took place at my home or in my father’s office and I happily obliged. But beyond that, I never heard or experienced any kind of spiritual awakening until that fortunate evening in the train in Germany came along. 

Sitting aloof on a side seat, I suddenly felt detached from the world, detached from my own surroundings. I felt that a mind that always thought about the happenings on the outside, suddenly took a deep dive inwards. A dark black cloud hovered inside my mind and my emotions felt numb. I had this strong urge to cry and to return back to my parents in India. 

Coming back to India, my parents and brothers deciphered that I was going through a case of anxiety and depression. Various possible explanations were attempted: 

  • It was my first encounter with a completely foreign country and maybe I  felt isolated and inferior. 
  • This combined with homesickness, resulted in these deeply disturbing emotions.
  • Etc Etc!

Considering it a case of clinical anxiety and depression, I even consulted psychologists and psychiatrists. Although they did offer me some relief, the relief was mild and short-lived and the cure for my inner happenings wasn’t to be found in them. 

The above explanations certainly held the truth in them but Partial Truth and so did the clinical treatments. The other half, I had to discover for myself. Thanks to my beloved Father and Mother, I enrolled myself in spiritual healing and meditation courses. We had no idea what we were doing. What we knew was that we were simply trying to find a cure for the emotional and mental upheavals I was going through.

Sitting in meditations, I realized that my upheavals weren’t simply mental and emotional, but spiritual too. While meditating, I felt my consciousness rising, as if a Divine Consciousness of tremendous light was dawning on me. I felt my heart opening to pure Divine Love like the petals of a Lotus Flower. On the outside, I began to see dark,black clouds and a flash of white light moving right before my eyes alternatively and on the inside, I was witness to a mystic interplay between dark, dense emotions, sitting on my solar plexus and the pure white beam of light opening my Crown and Heart Chakras. In one of the meditation sessions, I saw a snake crawling up my spine, which I later discovered to be the Kundalini Awakening.

Well, what could explain all of this?

I was not sure until I  realized from a deep inner knowing that I was being awakened to my spiritual essence; an essence that would define my purpose in this lifetime; an essence I had lost touch with. I was brought back to my spiritual journey by beings of Divine Light, beings I could hardly see and whose presence my rational mind could hardly acknowledge.

But this path wasn’t all light and glossy. It was a path filled with doubts, fear and judgements. My inner happenings simply seemed irrational and just a play of my mind to many of my close ones. Being involved in meditations and spiritual healings at such a young age of 18, when children of my age were Chilling and having fun, was considered insane and unacceptable. As a consequence, my connection with my close ones weakened and I started fearing keeping them up to date with the latest happenings in my life, which revolved primarily around my spiritual journey, that they could hardly understand.

The fear of being judged and left alone crept in me to such an extent that I started to doubt my own involvement in the spiritual practices. In essence, I did not just lose touch with my closest ones but also with my own self. 

Aaahhhh!!!! What a journey!  Whom did I have to make happy? Myself or other people around me? The thought dawned upon me “ What if they never ever approve of my soul journey? Will I abandon myself because of the fear of being judged and abandoned by them?”

This was a powerful thought that led me back on the right track, the track to my soul, to my spiritual essence. 

I, thus, decided to embark on the Road Less Taken for my own sake and happiness.

I am rising above these fears, on a daily basis. I have started prioritizing my chantings and meditations, no matter what others think about it. The fear still creeps in and grips me “ Oh, what will they think about me? What if they consider me insane and stupid?” I let the fear be. I let the fear take grip of me but I choose Myself and my Happiness above it. Is it an easy feat, you ask me? I would answer, certainly not! But it is certainly better to act out of love for your own sake, than live a fake life in Denial. Isn’t it?

While my earlier blog posts have attempted at explaining the emotional interplay that happens within me, this blog is the first of its kind, attempting at normalizing our spiritual awakenings and journeys. One should be proud and grateful for having gone through such an internal experience and not be bogged down by the judgements that may come in the way from people who may have not had the experience still. More and more people are facing spiritual awakenings in this new Soul Light Era and through this post I would like to reach out to those people, telling them to embrace this side of who they are, one step at a time and to know that they are not alone. Of course, from my own example, I know that it is easier said than done. But saying does help!

I recently heard a quote that resonated with me quite well. See if it does with you too. I would leave you with this:

“ It is better to be judged for who you are, than to be accepted for who you are not”!

Does it make any sense?

Well, if you found my thoughts insightful, do write in the comments.If you would like to connect over mail, please write me on thelightwarrior.11@gmail.com. I wish to help you in the inner transition that you may be encountering at this time.

Hope to hear from you!

Sending you lots of love and light,

Shaivya 

Changing Our Victim Consciousness

The world today is grappling with a lot of changes and uncertainties brought in by the Corona Virus. With a lot of health and financial losses that people are going through right now, it has brought many of us in the mode of Victim Consciousness. This energy in us is making us feel fearful, anxious, powerless and insecure about our present and future. Although many of us may not be directly impacted by COVID-19, however, this consciousness is coming out in us in myriad forms. I am writing this blog out of the inspiration I gained by watching a video recently released by Christina Lopes on Youtube “The World is unstable but you don’t have to be”. Do check out her video after reading this blog. Her video made me realize the various areas of my life where I show victim consciousness and propelled me to think how I can come out of it and live a more happy and fulfilling life. Here is a little glimpse into my part of the story. I hope that it helps you to become aware of your own story and change it for the better.

My long standing issues have been with our patriarchal society and mindset. I have felt being wronged by men many a times in the past, which made me to distance myself from many of my male classmates in school and in college and thus, I made very few guy friends in the process. I have even held deep insecurities related to marriage inside of me, precisely because I felt I would loose all my power and  be bound by the male dominance of my partner and be pushed into gender stereotypical roles by his family. This insecurity surfaced in many areas of my life where even a little constructive criticism from any male in my surroundings made me fall into victim consciousness. This triggered a series of emotions in me, ranging from hurt to sadness and eventually to anger and resentment.

However, by simply becoming aware of these emotions and triggers, I realized that this is nothing more than the victim consciousness in me that is making me blame others for my hurt and sadness. As I started to become aware of these happenings inside of me and resolved within to change my situation, the Universe also started responding positively to my requests by slowly improving my relationships with the men in my life.

Mine is a very small example of how our past family and other experiences make us to construct defense mechanisms around us, which are basically fueled by our own insecurities of being hurt, our own feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. And sometimes we tend to see even the most positive of situations from the lens of our belief s and strongly held perceptions.

I would like you to explore your part of the story and change it for the better.

But the question remains “How do we change this Victim Consciousness?”

Well, the first and foremost thing is to be aware whenever your past hurts, sadness, fears come to the surface in the face of triggers in your present environment. Our blaming of others for our problems is the first sign that we are in the victim consciousness.

The next question we need to ask ourselves is whether we want to remain in this victim consciousness and continue to blame others for our troubles?

In most cases our answer would be a NO, because our healthy ego would not allow us to crumble in our own sadness and misery. But do remember, our fragile ego does sometimes prevent us from taking responsibility for our lives, simply because working on oneself is a more effortful task,  than simply putting the blame on others. But if you are committed to your personal growth, then you would definitely like to take charge of your life.

Well, once you have realized what triggers your victim consciousness, your past history of why you become troubled by it and your decision to rise above it, the road ahead becomes easier and clearer.

For me tools such as self affirmations, spending out time in nature, dong things that give me joy and pleasure, work. I like telling myself that “I am the captain of my own ship”, “That I am the frequency of Love, Joy and Abundance (the opposite of being in a low state of unhappiness and lack when we are in a victim consciousness). Moreover, the art of being grateful to the person we are being negative about can tremendously help. Although this is a challenging endeavor, our continuous efforts to look at the positive side, may yield us returns in the long run.

Well, every person has a unique way of coming out of a situation. What is yours?

I myself am on the journey to become self- sovereign. This blog is merely an attempt to share my part of the story, which I feel is not unique, but is something that many of us go through on a daily basis. And so the task before us is simple yet challenging but definitely fulfilling in the long run: To change our Victim Consciousness to Victor Consciousness, to change our state of lack and sadness to one filled with ultimate Love, Joy and Abundance!

Regards,

Shaivya

 

 

 

BELIEVING IN YOUR INFINITE POTENTIAL

I AM THE INHERITOR OF THE WHOLE COSMOS! I AM INFINITELY LOVED, BLESSED, PROTECTED AND SUPPORTED BY THE WHOLE COSMOS, BEYOND MY WILDEST COMPREHENSION!

Just a single line can change your paradigm? Isn’t it?

It was a time when I was having self doubts, whether I would be able to do a certain thing I was working on. It was then that I met an aunt, who told me, ” You are the Universe. Just like the Universe, you hold infinite potential of creation within you. Belittling yourself means belittling that Infinity!

Aha! That was something unique and very well said. It truly opened my eyes. From that moment on, I decided to change the message I give to myself. It was then that I came across this beautiful line “I am the inheritor of the whole cosmos. I am infinitely loved, blessed, protected and supported by the whole cosmos, beyond my wildest comprehension!

Now whenever thoughts of self doubt creep in, I remind myself of this one line and would you believe, it works! It works wonders! The amount of self confidence I gain from this one statement is unmeasurable.

Whether we believe in God (The Creator) or not, we all certainly cannot doubt the fact that the creation of the universe still marvels man. Many scientists including Albert Einstein have claimed that the universe is ever expanding. So why shouldn’t we be?img_20180705_073316

Many a times I bind myself to externally given or self imposed beliefs. Ex:  Anger is bad and there begins the entire cycle of judging myself, being critical of myself whenever I get angry. But isn’t that again limiting and binding myself? Why not just let myself be, explore my inherent nature and be in complete acceptance to whatever is! Well, growth comes best in an environment of Love. Doesn’t it? Many a times, we fear about what others will say about something that we are doing. We tend to stop ourselves from doing it, because others don’t sanction it. Isn’t that again binding and limiting oneself?

Yes, it is!

So what then is the way to be free and ever expanding like the universe?

Well, the answer lies in self love and complete acceptance of oneself! It lies in believing in our highest potential. When we do that, we not only serve ourselves but also our world beyond our wildest imagination!

So the next time you think “I cannot do this”, remind yourself ” YOU ARE THE INHERITOR OF THE WHOLE COSMOS”. Will you?

With Love and Thanks

Shaivya